Lights in the Grass
by Shiori07
Summary: Levi drove himself out in the middle of nowhere and he's not really sure why. Well, he is, but he doesn't know why he agreed when he told himself it was better not to. All he knows is that his ex called him and know he was in the mountains. He had to give Eren credit though, he was persistent while Levi himself was quick to quit. Maybe a little too quick. Very slight angst


A/N: Hi, everyone, and Merry Christmas! This is an idea I had a few days ago and I knew I just _had_ to get it written and posted in time for Christmas because it was such a great idea! Now, I did mention this is a little angsty, but only slightly I swear. There's just a few mentions of it to give this a little more substance, but this is all-in-all a sweet, romantic fic with a happy ending and a good message. At first I made it angst-heavy but then I thought "Hey, it's Christmas, don't be that person. People deserve cheery stories." I hope you enjoy this and happy holidays! I will see you again at the bottom.

Disclaimer: I do not own AoT/SnK... or Grey's Anatomy XD

* * *

 **~Lights in the Grass~**

Levi had no idea what he was doing stranded out in the mountains by himself. Well, he wasn't exactly stranded as he had driven himself up there, but he might as well be because he was literally the only sign of human life for _miles._ He had known it would be like that going up there, and yet he had still done it willingly. And he wasn't even sure why.

The thirty-five-year-old man sat back against the leather seat of his car as he pondered this, gray eyes staring off at the darkening sky on the horizon. The vehicle was still running, and he was trying not to cringe too much at the thought of how much gas he was wasting, but it was forty degrees outside (about four in Celsius) and he was not going to deal with the freezing cold for as long as he possibly could. But he knew he had to go out there at some point.

Which brought him back to cursing himself for being the most idiotic man alive.

With a sigh, Levi banged his head against his headrest. Why did he come up here? Just. Why? He really shouldn't have because it was anything _but_ a good idea. He had made his decision and he should do his damnedest to abide by it because he had made it for a _reason._ And yet here he was, and all because a spoiled brat had asked him to.

His watch beeped, and he glanced down at it to read the time: 7 PM. He sighed again and reluctantly shut off his car. If he was going to do it, he may as well do it now.

Clenching his jaw, Levi opened the door and braced himself against the cold. He was bundled up in two sweaters, a windbreaker, and a scarf, but he could still feel the wind blow right through his layers of clothing and into his skin. He had half a mind to flip the finger at nature even if he knew it wouldn't do him any good, but he just ground his teeth and slammed the driver-side door shut. Then he turned, shoving his keys into his pockets and trudged down the road.

He hunched down into his scarf as he walked, hands in his pockets, as he glanced around warily every now and then. To be honest, he had no idea where the hell he was supposed to be going. The brat hadn't even told him and _he_ was the one who had asked him to hike in the mountains in December. He could have at least been a little more specific than "Oh, you'll know when you see it." Well he wasn't seeing shit, Eren, so what the fuck was the point?!

Levi immediately stopped to rethink his entire existence. He really shouldn't be out here. He shouldn't have come abiding by the pleas of a stupid brat, but… the kid had practically _begged him…_ How could he have possibly said no?

The man groaned and promptly walked up to a tree in favor of banging his head against it. He was the stupidest person to ever walk the face of the earth. He might as well find a cliff and walk right off it. At least he was in the right place to do that sort of thing.

Taking a deep breath, Levi stood straight and absently watched as the sun went down. He had to admit, he had a nice view from up here. The sun was almost completely beyond the horizon now, a sliver of orange that painted the sky around it rouge and the rest in violet and azure until it looked nearly black. Levi felt content to stand there and watch as it set, eyes never leaving the canvas of moving color until, very slowly, the sliver of orange disappeared and was replaced by midnight, dotted by a single star and sure to be followed by more.

Levi took a slow breath. He still had time to turn around. He hadn't seen the kid yet, and if he left right now, Eren would never have to know he was there. And he would have an answer.

But just as Levi took a step back toward his car, a light flickered on to his left.

Blinking, he turned toward it. His eyes met the mountainside, a side that was less steep than the rest, and saw the rows of lights spring to life one by one. He stared at it for a while, unsure of what to make of it until his mind actually began to function.

 _That's either "it," or he hasn't set off the fireworks yet._

Probably acting against his better judgement, Levi walked toward the lights.

It only took him a few minutes to reach them. When he did, he was surprised to find that the lights were Christmas lights, strung along the grass in lines and rectangular shapes for more than several feet. A few glaring questions popped into his head then, but before he could dwell on them too long, a voice spoke behind him.

"You came."

Levi froze, fist clenching around the keys in his pocket as he mentally kicked himself for the tenth time in the past hour. Closing his eyes, he counted to five… then slowly turned around.

A man stood several feet away from him. He was a few inches taller in comparison, with short, dark brown hair that tousled gently in the wind, and bright, blue-green eyes that sparkled in the artificial light. He was wearing a suede jacket, dark jeans, and black gloves. On his face was a small, gentle smile.

Swallowing, Levi responded. "No thanks to you. Your directions were shit."

Eren chuckled lightly. "Well you still got here, right? And I didn't even have to drag you."

"Whatever," the other grunted, unable to find a more intelligible answer to give because the brat was technically right. Glancing around briefly, Levi searched for another topic of conversation. "So what did you get me up here for? And how the fuck did you turn these on up in the mountains where I'm pretty sure electrical outlets haven't been invented yet?"

"I'm glad you asked that," Eren beamed. "But I want you to guess."

Levi huffed, but decided to indulge the brunet anyway. He stilled and glanced over the lights again. Faintly, he heard the hum of an engine.

"Did you bring a generator up here?"

"Yep. But why, is the question. Isn't it?"

He didn't answer, not able to bring himself to look Eren in the eye, and continued to survey the scene before him. His eyes flitted over the lines and shapes, trying to decipher their meaning. As far as he could tell, the lines were perfectly straight and met at right angles, which he wasn't sure how _Eren_ of all people managed to do perfectly, and formed several boxes inside one larger box. There were gaps in some of the lines, all relatively the same size. In fact, there was one right next to Levi, inviting him in almost like…

It clicked, and he took a step away from it. "These are house plans." He glanced down at the gap in front of him. "And this is the front door."

"Yep." He hadn't noticed when Eren had walked to stand beside him, but he felt his presence a second too late to do anything about it. "These are plans for a house. Our house."

Levi froze. Eventually, he glanced at Eren out of the corner of his eye. The brunet wasn't looking at him, his eyes gazing out over the lights deep in thought. His face was expressionless, but there was something somber about his gaze, almost mournful.

It was quiet as they continued to stand there, Eren never saying a word and Levi unsure of what exactly _to_ say _._ But it seemed the former was waiting for him to say something, so he tried.

"I already gave my answer, Eren. What is this for?"

"I wanted to show you," the brunet answered, looking at the lights for a moment longer before turning his gaze on the man standing beside him. "This is the life I had planned, and I wanted to know if you really don't want any part in it."

Levi's fist clenched around his keys. "I said no."

"And that's the problem." Eren fully turned so his body faced him, eyes ablaze with determination. "I don't believe that you meant that. After three years of being blissfully happy together, I don't believe for one second that you would turn down a marriage proposal just like that."

Those eyes almost burned him, and Levi had to look away and at the grass. "Well I did. There's not much else I can say to that."

"…And yet you still came out here when I asked you to."

Levi bit out a curse. "Dammit, Eren, stop reading so much into things! Just take my word for it and leave it at that."

"No." Eren spoke firmly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Not until I get a valid explanation. Tell me why you said no and mean it or I'm never leaving you alone either until I'm dead or you put a restraining order on me because I frankly can't do anything about that… Well, scratch that, I could still haunt you if I died and get other people to bother you for me if I can't do it myself."

In spite of himself, Levi's lips twitched. "Persistent little bastard, aren't you."

"Eh." The brunet shrugged like it was nothing, but he caught the movement of Levi's face and was beginning to smile. "I hunt down what I want even if it kills me."

"And extremely possessive," Levi muttered in addition, but pushed his fists further into his pockets as he thought, looking out over the lights again. He could see a gently sloping valley below them and the dark horizon beyond that. The sky was evenly dotted with stars now, and the wind was starting to blow colder air toward them.

To stall, Levi asked, "What if I died first?"

Eren was quiet for some time, like that thought had had more impact than the others. "…I would sit on your grave day and night without dusting it until your ghost appeared in vengeance."

Levi almost laughed, but quickly sobered as he thought about how serious Eren's tone had been despite the small joke. Now he had to give a serious answer no matter how sharply it thrust a knife between his ribs.

"I just didn't feel a spark anymore," he shrugged, "if we're going to put it in cliché, romantic terms. We had a great run, but it wasn't meant to include marriage."

Eren was silent for a long time, and a bitter-sweet ache filled Levi's chest at the thought that the brat had finally accepted his answer after two weeks... Which he did not feel guilty about by the way. Nope. Not even knowing that the kid had pretty much closed himself off to everyone in that time.

"But that's what I don't get." Eren turned to look at Levi again, earnestness shining in his eyes. "We were together for _three years._ Three, happy years. And that was right after two years of knowing each other, half of which was us being best friends and the other half being me restlessly pining after you because I thought you were perfect. And I remember you said once that you had done the same."

Levi looked away. "Well that's not true anymore."

"And why not?!" Eren asked, voice raising in desperation. "What possibly changed in the span of five seconds for you to say no? That's what I need to know."

The shorter man's jaw clenched. "It just wouldn't work."

" _How?!_ Levi, just tell me, please? What wasn't working out? I'll fix it, just tell me."

After hiding his feelings for the past few years, they were now bursting through the seams without Levi meaning for them to. The pressure was building. "It was working out just fine!" he growled, ignoring the way Eren stared at him and instead focused on the grass again. "It was _fine_ and that was the problem."

"I… don't understand," Eren began, taking a cautious step toward him. "What do you mean? Isn't "fine" a sign of a healthy relationship."

"Yes. And that was the problem." Clenching his fists, Levi turned on him. "I'm not right for you. I've known that for so long, yet I was selfish and agreed to be in a relationship with you. You deserve someone better—someone younger and better suited to your personality. You deserve better than me."

"You're concerned about our age gap?" Eren asked, looking significantly relieved yet still anxious as he ran a gloved hand through his hair. "Levi, you turn thirty-six tomorrow, and I turn twenty-six in a few months. That's only a ten year difference."

"That's a hell of a lot of time," the older interjected. "I was in middle school when you were born."

"Yeah, only in middle school! And if you really think being who you are is a bad thing-surprise, I actually _like_ that about you. We may be polar opposites, but that's what I love about you. We balance each other out and that's the definition of perfect in my opinion."

"But that's not even the half of it! I have so much baggage, Eren! How could I possibly get married and shove that onto my partner? On _you?_ " Levi asked, fists clenched so hard his keys were probably leaving a permanent impression. His shoulders were shaking from the strain. "Do you know how much of a pain living with me would be? You're so open and pure and I can barely tell anyone how my day has been. The dynamic would be so uneven—"

"I don't care," Eren interrupted, eyes meeting his silver as calmly as the waves resting on the shore on a cloudless day. "The point of a partnership is to support each other unconditionally, and I would do it for you no matter how much you fought me or pushed me away. That's how much I love you."

Levi couldn't speak. He simply stared at Eren, whose eyes still twinkled gently in the Christmas lights, like the sunrise on the ocean. He wasn't serious was he? That was the sappiest shit he had ever heard from anyone. But with Eren, he found himself believing it.

"…Sappy little shit," he finally managed.

Eren grinned. "You know you like it."

"If I did, it doesn't matter." Levi didn't dare look at him as he spoke. "I'm the complete opposite and I know you practically thrive off of romance and displays of affection. Those things aren't exactly my forte."

"They don't have to be," Eren's smile mellowed, but it was still there, warm and bright as it always was. "You can be a bit of a romantic in your own way; it's part of your charm. Besides, I don't mind being the more romantic one."

"I'm a jaded person. Things like that don't come easy to me." Levi's grip on his keys had loosened slightly as the conversation went on, but they tightened again now.

"I know."

"I have darkness inside of me, Eren," the raven insisted, taking a firm step forward. "It festers like an infection. It would be no good for you to marry someone like that. You're the light, but the darkness can snuff you out."

"Well, if you know basic physics, Levi," the brunet began causally, taking a fearless step toward him, "you would know that's not how it works. You turn on the light, and the darkness goes away."

"I'm damaged." Levi was looking for _any_ excuse at this point. He knew it was better for Eren to let go, but now even _he_ didn't want him to. "I hide everything inside because I physically feel like I can't say anything. Trust doesn't come easy to me either."

"I'm willing to wait until you tell me," Eren countered easily. "I still wouldn't care about having to do that anyway; you would still be the same whether you told me or not, and I would still love you." He took another step closer to him, still smiling that gentle smile as his fingers hooked onto Levi's sleeves and slowly pulled his hands out of his pockets to hold. Levi noticed the way his fingers ghosted down his forearms and over his skin, the touch almost reverent. Thinking back, he could remember the soothing, silent reassurances between the two of them when they were alone, when Eren would look at him like he were the strongest, yet most fragile thing on earth, and gently rub his arms when even Levi didn't know he was upset. He had already known everything, and he still hadn't care. It hadn't affected how he felt.

As a general rule, Levi didn't cry—that was just how he was—but today might have to become an exception because _goddammit_ this brat had a way of stripping down his walls and exposing every little secret he had, then embrace them like they weren't perfectly capable of burning him. And he wasn't getting burned.

Levi's throat felt unnaturally tight. "I'm damaged goods. I have so much baggage."

Eren smiled at him. "I know, and I don't care. I'll happily carry it with you." Then, he lifted Levi's left hand and kissed it, which was still the sappiest shit he had ever seen but it was somehow _working._

"What are you, an anime character?"

"Yes, and you are my darling little uke." And with that, Eren embraced him.

Levi scoffed. "Like hell, I'm uke."

"If you say so. You can be whatever you want."

"Don't patronize me," Levi defended needlessly. But slowly, he raised his arms and slipped them around Eren's waist.

"I'm not," the brunet insisted, lips pressed into his hair.

Silence reigned over them for a long time, the only things accompanying them being the wind and the soft, twinkling lights in the grass beside them.

With his ear pressed against Eren's chest, Levi closed his eyes and focused on the warmth of Eren's body, the beat of his heart. He had always found the steady rhythm soothing, hypnotic even, making it all the more satisfying just to lay with him in silence and let his thoughts drift. It had just been two weeks since the break-up, but he had missed this. Badly.

"Any other excuses?" Eren whispered, a hint of humor in his tone.

Levi thought on it for a second. "Well, we're both—"

Suddenly the warm body pulled away from him and Eren pointed a stern finger at his face. "If you say we're both men, I'll slap you. Gay marriage is legal now."

For the first time that night, Levi smiled. It was a small smirk that pulled at the corner of his lips, but it was still a smile. "I don't give a shit about the government, it's just fun to see you get all worked up."

"Oh, ha ha." Eren rolled his eyes, but then he grinned, expression bright as he gazed down at Levi. "So, can I give you a tour?"

The raven turned and glanced down at the string of lights beside them. "I suppose, though I'm not sure what I'm touring considering the house isn't even built yet. And anyway, why would you want to build a house on the side of a mountain? Do you want our kids to fall off a cliff?"

"You'll have kids with me?!"

Blinking, Levi looked up, meeting Eren's shining eyes and award-winning smile.

Wait, _kids?_ Had he really said that?

Levi was quiet for a while, pondering the possibility. And the more he thought about it, the less he minded.

"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

"So you _will_ marry me."

There was a slight pause.

"…Well I haven't run away yet, have I?"

Eren's face light up—for lack of a better analogy—like a Christmas tree. Without any warning, Levi was picked up by the waist and spun through the air, his captor holding him tightly and laughing out of sheer joy. Smiling slightly, Levi wrapped his arms around Eren's neck and held him back.

He may have still had his doubts about being a perfect partner, but Eren had made some good points against his argument. He had made him want to meet him halfway. Now, he wanted more than anything to make what they had work.

When they stopped spinning, Levi still wasn't touching the ground as Eren was still holding him up by the waist. For a second, they looked at each other, Levi smiling softly and Eren beaming like he was the happiest person on the planet, his nose and cheeks dusted red from the cold. Then, with one last laugh, he leaned up and they kissed.

God, if there was anything Levi had missed the most, it was kissing him, just like this. Eren's lips were always soft, a little chapped maybe, but soft and warm and sweet _._ They put Levi's thin ones to shame, but Eren never seemed to care about the inferiority Levi thought was so obvious and kissed him like it was the best kiss he had ever had, whether it was passionate or not.

"You gonna put me down yet?" Levi murmured against Eren's lips.

"Hmm, don't feel like," the brunet answered, smiling against him. "I still want to give you a tour."

"And you feel the only way to do that would be to carry me?"

"Yes. And we're going to walk right through the front door this way."

"We're not even married yet. And also, I could carry you just as well."

"Do you want to carry me?"

"Not really no."

"Well then." Gracefully, Eren set Levi down, only to scoop him up again bridal-style. "My blushing bride, welcome home."

Levi rolled his eyes, but he let Eren carry him through the imaginary doorway and into the lights.

* * *

The tour wasn't very long as Eren had only planned the basic schematics and not the aesthetic layout (which he thankfully left to Levi). It was still impressive though as the plans had apparently been measured out with small pins and carefully connected by the Christmas lights. Levi was still skeptical that Eren had done this himself though. Like, come on, would _Eren Jaeger_ of all people have the patience and skill to pull all of this off on his own? Sure, he could plan it but… well he wasn't the most organized person. Knowing him, he probably would have tried to mark it off with sharpie even though it was grass and then realize he was a massive failure and call Armin. But that was just something so Eren-esque, Levi just considered it part of his charm.

"Yes, ok, I did call Armin to help me out," the brunet admitted after Levi had asked him. "Don't judge me, this was still completely my idea. It was supposed to be a Christmas-slash-birthday gift for you."

"Really. So you decided to reenact that episode of Grey's Anatomy? You didn't even use candles."

"Yes! Exactly like that episode! But I'm cheap and lazy and I didn't want to buy and _light_ over a hundred candles after arranging them into perfect lines. Sue me."

Levi chuckled. "That's so romantic of you."

"I know right?" Eren said, turning his head to the side so he could look at him. They were currently sprawled on their backs on the ground in the square that Eren had labeled as their master bedroom. It had been the last room they had visited and, to Levi's surprise, there were blankets already laid out and waiting for them. It was so surreal to be laying there now, thinking about what this small space meant and would mean to them in the future. But it was nice to think about.

"However," the brunrt continued, grinning at him. "You could argue that this is just as romantic because I hauled a generator and all these lights up here just because I thought there was the smallest chance of winning you back."

"Hmm." Levi faced him, a small smile pulling at his lips. "Well I'm glad you did."

"Me too."

The raven felt familiar fingers brush against the back of his hand, and he reached over and took them between his own without much thought.

"Happy Birthday, Levi."

His smile grew. "Merry Christmas, Eren."

For most of the night, they laid there together, side by side, and watched the stars. The Christmas lights still glowed beside them, adding a film of warmth to their humble vigil. They didn't fall asleep that way as, after a few choice words from Levi about the weather, he convinced his companion to pack up and head home. But they did sleep together an hour later, curled up in Eren's bed in their old apartment, wrapped in each other's arms like they had never left.

* * *

A/N: So, my overall message for this story: if you identify with Levi and think you're too imperfect to act or be treated as normal person, know that that is never the case. You are still capable of love and still capable of _being_ loved. It may not be obvious to you, but it's true, and just know that I believe in you. And if you don't identify with him, well, I ask you to be like Eren: be that light in someone else's life and just try to be there for them even if it's not in a romantic capacity. Really, hurt people just need someone there for them. That's really the best advice I can give you. Just show up when they need you even if they don't think they do. If we all do that, the world can be a better place.

*Also, hint: the greatest present I could get from you guys would be a review :)

Well, once again, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy Birthday to Levi.


End file.
